I get so many comments from women who are frustrated, tired of styling, or at a crossroad with their natural hair. So I wanted to give some encouragement to those who may be feeling overwhelmed!
First of all, it's natural (no pun intended), to feel frustrated or overwhelmed with your natural hair! Especially if you've been relaxed your entire life! Very rarely do you jump into something brand new, and know 100% what to do upon your first try.
No, it takes many attempts before you can master anything in life! So if you're newly natural, take comfort that you're getting all your hard-knocks out in the beginning, so that you will have smooth sailing later on. It's inevitable; it must happen! There will always be a learning curve that needs to be conquered, so embrace it as a required step in ultimately mastering your hair.
I didn't know what to do right away! It took me about two years to finally feel like I've totally mastered my hair: what it needs, likes, and how to control it. The first two years of my journey were definitely trial-and-error! Many days of leaving the house with hairstyles that I thought were cute, only to get to my destination and think "Girl!? What the HECK were you thinking when you tucked THAT piece into THERE!?" Yes! Many, many embarrassing moments! But like with everything else, it's a learning experience of what not to do, so you can eventually learn what to do!
If you're frustrated, don't sulk or rip your hair out, just find a nice protective style to put it in for a while so you can have a well-deserved break. We all get tired! It doesn't mean you've failed or your hair is "uncontrollable." It just means you need a break, time to gather your thoughts so you can try again with a fresh mind and rested hands.
Kinky twists, or braids are great styles that can last you an entire month if you protect them at night! That's a month of rest, relaxation, and time to recoup! And what's best is that they look cute too! So you're letting your hair grow stress-free, getting some rest, and you've got a cute style that you can be proud of!
Another question I receive is "Don't you ever have the urge to straighten your hair?"
I don't really have the desire to straighten, as much as I have the desire to see length and feel the weight of my hair. Not sure why, but the feeling of your hair whipping in the wind, or falling over your shoulder just feels so good sometimes!
But there are many ways to satisfy this urge without straightening your hair! When I feel this urge, I head straight for my mini twists! I LOVE mini twists because you get the movement, length, and weight to satisfy any "long hair" urges; you also get a much-deserved break! And after wearing them for a month, you actually get sick of them and yearn for your big puffy hair back! So it's win-win!
There are so many ways to get around that frustration with your hair. It's not a fad, not a style, not a trend... it's your hair! There's no way it can ever fail you or go out of style, it just takes a while to get used to it and get over that initial learning curve.
Stick with it, a learning curve sometimes takes years! I'm pretty sure the first girl to get a relaxer didn't just chop all her hair off because she didn't know how to maintain it. No, she friggin' wanted that relaxer baby! So she stuck with it, figured out how to wrap it at night, oil her scalp, and learned the hard way that you can't walk outside in the rain. Why? Because she liked how her hair looked and was DETERMINED to make it work no matter how long it took to figure out.
And decades later, here we are! Most relaxed women know pretty darn well that they need to invest in a satin scarf, wrap it at night, and avoid the rain! But that took some time to figure out, and so will your own personal natural hair routine... but the outcome is definitely worth the learning curve, so stick with it.
Here's a video I created back in the day of some natural hairstyles to help inspire you to see just how many options you have when styling! You are Degas and your hair is clay, so go make a friggin' masterpiece already!